


Day 4: Monster (S)Mash

by ivorycrawler



Series: IvoryCrawler's 2020 Kinktober [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Incredible Hulk (Comics)
Genre: Copious Amounts of Cum, Feels like crack, Gen, I have some pressing questions about Hulk Dick, Kinktober, Kinktober 2020, Smutober, no beta I die like roadkill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:15:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26830519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivorycrawler/pseuds/ivorycrawler
Summary: I have some pressing questions about Hulk's dick. And maybe some answers.(Crackish)
Relationships: Hulk/Mystery
Series: IvoryCrawler's 2020 Kinktober [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950028





	Day 4: Monster (S)Mash

**Author's Note:**

> This was a joke request from a friend (the same one that doesn't read smut in the first place), and though it's pretty tame I wanted to add it in since the copious amounts of cum and the idea that Hulk would need to find other ways to make love/fuck/do the sex to be a lot of fun.
> 
> I have a huge size kink with a love for copious amounts of messy cum, but I also have a realistic enough understanding of anatomy that no one is going to fit a Hulk size dick anywhere in a human body unless they happen to be ElastaGirl or Mr. Fantastic - i.e. stretchy!
> 
> I left the character up to mystery because I didn't feel like a reader or OC would be appropriate, and honestly, I've had so many crack ships that I actually ended up liking for Hulk to pick one to write for. So whoever you want it to be, it can be! The message stays the same, whether a monster dick or a Dr. dick, sex safely!

Day 4: The Monster (S)Mash

Hulk x unknown  
Crack at the request of a friend.

When one thinks of the Hulk, often the first thing that comes to mind is raging destruction, purple pants, and later one very sheepish Bruce Banner. There were more things that come to mind but these tend to be pretty popular - as per a popular magazine poll! 

On a much more popular poll, created and spread on the internet like a particularly nasty virus, was the question of what was found under the purple pants. This poll took on many forms, and people from all walks of life weighed in one way or another, even when they really didn’t want to.

Those purple pants were a legend, a meme; their ability to cling to Hulk’s ass and thighs despite the size change caused several reporters asking for the brand of pants that Dr. Banner wore. The answer was quite satisfying to the brand that makes them but they don’t matter here.

What matters is the secrets those pants hide. The Hulk’s ass is no secret and is actually a popular topic on the internet with several blogs dedicated to it. Green, mean, raging machine, but cute tush.

But what about what’s in front? The questions run abound, theories popping up as fast as conspiracy theories about the possibilities of the big, green, monster that could be….the Hulk cock.

Did the carpet match the drapes? Was it proportional? Or did it match Dr. Banner more than the Hulk? (This theory came about with how tight the pants were, there was no way something bigger could fit!) 

Only one person in the world knew. Only one! But they weren’t telling. 

They weren’t going to talk at all about how wonderful Dr. Banner was as a partner, in romance and in bed. And they sure as hell weren’t going to speak to anyone about how careful the Hulk was with them anytime he was intimate.

How his cock was proportional to him, massive and throbbing, it put off such a crazy amount of heat when he used their body to grind against, touching them with his big hands to get them off with him. He was careful in all positions with them, and though penetration wasn’t something they could do together, it didn’t mean they didn’t have a blast.

No one would know that Hulk could literally shower them in cum, drenching their face, chest, and hips. Or that he liked it when they put little kisses to the head of his cock, their lips soft and warm and wet against his skin. Not another soul would know that Hulk watched his finger disappear into their body and wished he could do the same with his cock.  
When Bruce was walking around, doing his science thing, Hulk fantasized about them being sturdy enough for him to fuck the way he wanted to. To shove his cock in them, thrusting and grunting, and bruising them for all to know that Hulk did that. Filling them with cum, covering them in it as they screamed for him, the idea of them coming around his cock.

And sometimes these thoughts would get across to Bruce who would blush, entertain the idea, probably get a hard-on, and either have to take care of himself or find them to help. He tried not to rub it in Hulk’s face the things he could do with their partner. Short of trying to build him a fleshlight for him to use (which Bruce has definitely not considered before! Nope! Not at all…and Hulk definitely hadn’t asked about something like that before either!), the best they could do was once in a while exchange memories for all to enjoy. 

Such as now, in their nest in the bedroom, where their partner panted, covered in the copious amounts of cum and sweat, the image enough that both Bruce and Hulk savored it. They definitely had a kink out of this. His massive cock twitched in interest but for the sake of their exhaustion, he pushed the lust aside. 

He’d help clean them up and would get to cuddle them tonight. Tomorrow, Hulk decided, he’d revisit the conversation about a fleshlight with Bruce. 

The next time the Hulk came out to fight, his tight purple pants ripped in strategically covered places caused another surge of theories, questions, and fantasies. Not that the Hulk cared if they were curious, and Bruce sure as shit was going to continue to act oblivious to the questions. The mystery of the Hulk cock would remain as such. People would continue to call him a monster. Others would ask and crave that monster dick. A specific subset of people would eagerly await the day that his pants ripped entirely. And Hulk would continue to request his fleshlight.

Spoiler: Three weeks later, Tony presented the Hulk with a fleshlight, massively disturbed and delighted to have answers to some very pressing questions he’d had with the rest of the internet. That delight turned into being more disturbed when he realized that the Hulk would be coming to him for repairs, replacements, or new toys to his specifications.

**Author's Note:**

> Could I have gone the route of Hulk smashing that ass with his hella big dick? Yeah, I coulda. Did I? Nope!
> 
> Honestly, I had so much fun just writing this one and I could have gone so much goofier but I wanted to remember to keep it somewhat smutty for the theme. Might revisit this prompt just for the pure level of fun it was to contemplate seriously and ask ridiculous questions to harass my friend. 
> 
> Sunday nights are hell for me to get to sleep due to work thoughts popping in and stressing me out so this was the perfect balm to ease me to dreamland. Not sure if dreams of Hulk dick will be good or other, so I'll go ahead and move right on along. 
> 
> Comments welcome but not looking for criticism as this is all just for funsies! <3


End file.
